Understanding Age Regression.

As a psychology student, mental health activist and young adult of the early Gen Z era, I’ve had the fortunate opportunity to learn, explore and understand a range of different ways the brain protects us in the face of intense stress, trauma and psychological upset.

It is one of these eye-opening learning curves that I have come to hold very close to my heart and stand up for in the face of intense negativity and stigma.

For instead of studying such a mechanism as if some distant, scientific method I will one day come to observe and prescribe, acknowledging it’s presence from behind a laptop screen, textbook or as a conference audience member…I have simply encountered it among my every-day personal life.

Regression spans a wide expanse of experiences and an even wider expanse of knowledge we are yet to uncover. In the face of its increasing appearance despite lack of research, and, rather unfortunately, in the increasingly sexualised generation we appear to be becoming, it has faced an incredible amount of negativity and disgusting stigma.

While in reality, it is a hugely powerful healing mechanism.

Out of curiosity in an attempt to understand the absence of research into age regression outside therapeutic method, I began searching for academic literature around the subject of age regression. Although articles dated back to as late as 1960 [Reiff & Scheerer: 1960, Memory and hypnotic age regression.][1] all of them referred to ‘hypnotic regression’, a method performed by psychologists during therapy to uncover repressed memory and draw understanding of a patient’s traumatic childhood. Three Google Scholar pages in, and I could not appear to find an article about involuntary or voluntary age regression outside the boundaries of therapy rooms.

If I turn away from academia and type ‘age regression’ into Ecosia, I get a range of links explaining the wonderful phenomena of age regression, including supportive blogs attempting to eradicate stigma and offering fun ideas to maintain the self-care of those within a regressive state.

'Age Regression Resources' by Emee, Cara and Chibi.

YouTube offers well meaning, informative blogs or funny, adorable videos that further highlights the nature of age regression outside the world of hypnosis and psychological treatment. Still on the same first page, is another more medically focused blog about age regression calling it “legitimate”[2] and an entire list of Etsy shops that provide resources that support someone while they experience a regressive state.[3]

'Tips and Tricks on Age Regression' by Bonbon Bun on Youtube.

If you know where to look, those who understand and accept age regression are in the hundreds of thousands. I meet new age regressors on my mental health Instagram page almost every few weeks and we engage in fun, meaningful and supportive conversations.

'themarvelouskat' offers cute infographics and stories about regression on IG.

So why is it hidden away as if something immensely controversial?

Simply put, because not enough information is pushed to the general public and too much information is manipulated and perversely altered to create disgusting insults and derogatory accusations.

I thought I’d hand over to the real experts on this: my lovely, wonderful friends who are age regressors and use this mechanism to help their mental health. I’ve put together a list of questions for them to answer, and have shared the answers below in the form of a Q & A.

Some words have been censored for the protection and safety of the age regressors, in an attempt to prevent triggers as much as possible. Answers are also censored for the same purpose, and we request you kindly do the same should you respond or comment in the comment section.

Response Code: Cooldrawings40; Arie; Angel

How did you find out you were an age regressor?

An online friend introduced it to me and added me to an online group. This group educated me about it, but I no longer participate in these groups for personal reasons.

I’m not sure, it just happened one day and then I began researching after that.

I had become extremely stressed about a lot of situations that were happening within my life, including the processing of some past trauma. I suddenly just found myself slipping into a ‘child-like’ mindset and feeling safe within that state until I woke up the next morning. After talking to some of my friends online and doing some research, I began piecing together what had happened.

In your words, what is age regression?

You regress into a space (usually a young child) that helps you relieve stress or help with your PSTD, anxiety etc.

It’s a coping method, slipping back to a simpler time where you didn’t have as much stress as you do now.

It’s a coping mechanism and response where the brain digresses into a younger state of mind to protect the brain and yourself. It can be voluntary, but in my experience it’s often more involuntary.

How does your age regression help you?

My age regression helps me with my mental illnesses and helps to relieve stress. I have a wild imagination, so it helps me with that too.

Age regression helps me destress after a difficult day and serves as a reminder that life can’t always be too serious.

It helps me take a step back from my ‘adult life’, with regard to my trauma and disabilities.

Would you say that each person’s age regression is subjective and personal? Can you describe yours a little?

Yes, I think so. Everyone is different so not every age regression is going to be the same. For me, my age regression is like this: even though I do like pacis [A common comfort item for regressors] and stuffies [stuffed toys] I don’t really like use them when I regress. I do play with them and use them, but not as much as others may use them. And when I'm age regressing, I like to learn how to play video games with someone I trust and them help me.

Yes, definitely. I’m not a very energetic little. Personally, I’d rather cuddle up with my stuffies and CG [caregiver] and watch a movie and eat snacks rather than colour etc. I regress a lot when my body is a lot of pain (I have a very demanding job) as I tend to be calmer, more relaxed and more still in little space. [Another term for age regression.]

Absolutely. Just like one person’s brain is different and unique from another, someone’s regression space will also be. Mine is very dependent on the trigger and the age I regress to. Sometimes I’m very excitable and chatty, wanting to colour and do a lot of stimming and dancing. Other times I’m very sleepy and just want to cuddle up with some regression aids and stuffies. I don’t regress more than once every 3 weeks or so, but I find I often regress when my emotions reach certain extremes, such as a really low moment, low energy or not enough sleep.

What are the criteria for being an age regressor?

Well I think, for one, don’t use age regression as a way to manipulate someone. Don't gatekeep certain things, because every caregiver and little is valid unless they're using it for INAPPROPRIATE bad things.

In my opinion, the only criteria is feeling younger than your body is.

There is none. As long as no one fakes regression to exploit a CG or regressor.

Why is it important than age regression is kept SFW?

Because children can't consent, and in age regression you're in a child-like mind-state. Therefore you can't consent. And if things aren't kept SFW and become inappropriate, it can be traumatic.

If you wouldn’t introduce it to a child, don’t introduce it to an age regressor when regressed. Their mind isn’t in a state where that would be appropriate.

In age regression, your mental state has digressed to that of a child. In every sense of the word therefore, to you, according to you, you are a child. Can you imagine introducing NSFW to a child? It would be considered as*ult and they’d be at risk of developing trauma. Why would you introduce it then to someone who is very likely to be regressing as a coping mechanism for trauma? Moreover, just the idea of someone thinking it perfectly fine to s*xualise kids is incredibly disgusting.

Do you find it challenging to face stigma around age regression? If you can, what sort of stigma is most prominent?

Sometimes I do find it challenging. But I don’t really tell anybody in my personal life. The kind of stigma I get if I do tell people in person, is people think I’m weird and everything. I’m afraid to tell anyone because I see videos or comments arguing about how it’s wrong to regress.

Personally, no. I know a lot of people do but for me, I don’t really let anyone’s thoughts about my coping methods affect me. If it helps me, it helps me.

I think where I have paranoia of the stigma comes mostly from my own fears and assumptions that it’s going to be taken negatively. Where I have faced stigma it’s predominantly due to misunderstanding or perspectives developed within different communities on the internet who blend NSFW a*e pl*y with age regression. I admit I struggle a lot with this and if I try to respond to stigma, it is always anonymously.

Has a professional medical individual recommended regression to you as a useful coping mechanism?

No. A friend suggested it to me.

Recommended, no, but my therapist was very supportive and encouraging when I brought it up to her.

I’ve seen it be recommended to people and spoken about as a recommendation, but I wasn’t personally recommended it. However, a past counsellor did express how they thought it was not a negative coping mechanism.

Can you explain a little about the difference between age regression and pet regression?

I don’t really know a lot about pet regression, but I can explain as best as I can. Age regression is when you regress to a certain age, for example 4 or 5, and pet regression is when you regress into a certain animal.

Age regression is feeling/acting younger than your body’s age. Pet regression is feeling/acting as an animal.

I’m not a pet regressor, but from what I have had explained to me, it is where individuals find comfort in certain animal-esq characteristics and traits that allows them, like age regression, to escape into a psychological state that protects them and helps them to cope. I think it allows them to remove themselves of some responsibilities that would be expected of them if human, that can cause stress and anxiety to them.

Do you think there are concerns around people wanting to experience petre? (pet regression)

Kind of? I’m not in that certain ‘community’ so I don’t think I’m allowed to talk much about what goes into it and everything. But some concerns that may occur are: “What if I get judged? What if I get bullied?” Something like that.

No. I use agere and petre as coping methods. They’re both very calming and helpful as long as the environment is safe.

Again, I can’t really speak for those who experience petre but I can see why there might be concerns with individuals regressing to a more animal-like character and again, why some might liken it to NSFW k*nks (which is completely wrong).

Do you find social media has helped you develop and support your regression?

Yes. It’s helped me to understand my regression. Support? Yes and no. The internet can be a very scary place and there’s always going to be people who try to take advantage of you. I’ve had some frightening encounters with some people, but my good experiences outweigh the bad.

Yes and no. Social media has opened me up to some amazing friends and those who helped me to understand myself and provide further support into my exploration of age regression. But it’s also made me realise the extent of stigma and the exploitation of age regressors by those simply wishing to mock and harm them. I’ve also met some pretty toxic people who refuse to distinguish age regression from age play.

What support do you have from family/friends?

I don’t have support from my family. If they knew, they would judge me, make rude comments, tell me to grow up. Only one friend that I know in my personal life knows about my age regression and they support me. The rest of my friends in my personal life don’t know because I don’t know how they’ll react. The friends I have online that I’m very close to, they support me.

My wife, who is an age regressor and a CG like myself, is super supportive. We’ve also adopted a 14-year-old who is an age regressor. Our family, and most of our friends are highly supportive of agere.

My parents try to understand, but I recognise it’s difficult, so I don’t really bring it up much with them. I don’t live with them anymore so it’s not restricting my ability to regress. I have a lot of support from my sibling, some cousins and other friends, including my partner who all recognise it as a positive coping mechanism.

Can you explain the role of a CG (caregiver)?

A CG is someone that might be someone you’re dating or a close friend that is there to support you and help you if needed when in a regression state.

A CG is basically there to take care of you when you’re regressed. They make sure you eat, sleep, take care of yourself, and don’t do anything dangerous. They can be close or far away, platonic or your partner, as long as they understand that age regression is SFW.

The role of a CG kind of depends on the regressor(s) involved and what both CG and 'little' want to receive and give. CG/Little relationships can be platonic or romantic and a CG acts as a support for the regressor: a sort of parental role to keep the regressor safe but also help the regressor remain within that positive, healing mental state. CG's can be virtual or in real life close friends, or partners. I know some adult regressors who live with their CGs (platonic or romantic settings). The important thing to remember is that in a romantic CG/little relationship is that when regressed, the CG/little do not engage in sexual behaviour and are essentially, platonic for that period.

Some people assume that a CG/Little relationship is NSFW and advocates concerning k*nks, especially with nicknames such as ‘daddy’ and ‘mummy’ given to CGs. What are your thoughts on this assumption?

I think a lot of these assumptions can be harmful to age regressors because a lot of people who make these assumptions aren’t educated and judge littles/CGs badly, sharing false information. I wish these people would listen and actually educate themselves.

I’m going to give an example to help better explain my thoughts, A lot of people who make these assumptions think that age regression goes with age play [adults who pretend to be a child with a d*minant partner and engaging in sexual acts] and make harm judgements towards the community. Do I think that age play is bad, and do I see where these assumptions are coming from? Yes, I think it’s bad and I partially understand where these assumptions are drawn from: from past experiences, a lot of people hide in the community as an excuse to do age play. And I wish those people would listen when we say, “it’s not like that.”

As someone in the k*nk community and an age regressor, it makes me angry. It’s never right to assume anything about someone’s relationship with anyone.

This assumption is so harmful, especially since I know people as young as twelve who regress due to mental health struggles! The assumption pushes an incredibly valid coping mechanism that promotes healthy healing, into a space that can be dehumanising and damaging to involved individuals. I have no issue with people exploring k*nk, but I have intense anger at the exploration into age play and NSFW regression. It's disgusting. Someone in regression literally has the mindset of a young child and people are sexualising that? How is that any better than promoting pa*doph*lia? Many of these regressors experience regression to heal from sexual trauma and it's astonishing how insensitive some people can be towards this.

When some people first regress, they consider it a weakness. Could you give your opinion on this perception?

I understand it. Because when I first regressed, I was worried because I was like: “what if I’m being annoying? What if they think I'm being weird? What if I’m being too needy so I think it’s normal?”

I wouldn’t call it a weakness. While yes, you are vulnerable when regressed, anything that can be used to cope with scary situations, should be considered a strength. It’s a way to keep going and keep functioning.

I understand and have experienced this. I think the perception perhaps has arisen from this association with young children being weak, and the view that not being able to handle 'adult-life' is a negative thing. Sometimes, I admit, on bad days I do fall back into this assumption. But then I kind of see my regression as a strength. I've got something I can utilise and fall back on when so-called 'adult-life' gets too much and it helps me to better cope with the world. Finding an efficient way to reduce suffering is not weak.

Many thanks to @Cooldrawings40 (IG), Arie and Angel for allowing me to write about and post their experiences and opinions. You are all super cool amazing friends and I value your trust in me so much!

Also mentioned are Bonbon Bun (YT), the truly wonderful blogger @themarvelouskat (IG) who makes me smile at every one of her posts and Emee, Cara and Chibi's fantastic resources blog (Tumblr). Thank you also.

-- [1] https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1961-00931-000 [2] https://medium.com/invisible-illness/on-coping-mechanisms-age-regression-1e46f04729d4 [3] https://www.etsy.com/uk/market/age_regression